Christmas Wishes Read online

  ‘You bet!’ Lars answered in his ear. ‘Come and meet the team. Show them a few things?’

  ‘I’m rusty,’ Nico protested. But, added, ‘My skates are in your garage.’

  ‘I’ll dust them off,’ Lars promised. He paused to cough. ‘We’ll find skates for Josie, too. And it’s snowing. We could take her skiing.’

  ‘That would be great,’ Nico agreed. Then, because he’d already told his mother Carina, he told Lars about how he’d ended up looking after Maria.

  ‘Vad i helvete!’ Lars exclaimed. What the hell! ‘That poor little girl. I know you have a nanny but it’s a big responsibility. Loren’s lucky you’re a good man.’

  Nico caught Maria’s balloon as she flung it at some innocent passing lady. ‘I don’t have a nanny right now.’ He spent the next half hour explaining his change of lifestyle.

  ‘But anyway,’ he rounded off, when Lars had finished exclaiming and worrying. ‘I’m looking forward to seeing you next week in Sweden. Josie will have some Farfar and Farmor time and maybe I’ll get a beer with my brother.’ Or who knew? He was feeling so much better that he might ask a girl out and take his mind off Hannah Anna Goodbody, who had turned up so inconveniently in Middledip.

  After signing off with his dad, he telephoned Carina, deciding he’d better get in quick with the leaving work news before it filtered back to her. She greeted his explanation with a pregnant pause. Then sighed. ‘Nico.’ She sighed again. ‘You’re all right, aren’t you?’

  ‘The best I’ve been for ages, Mamma. Honestly. Life had become pretty hectic.’

  ‘I know.’ She sounded close to tears. ‘You had too much, with your job and Josie and what happened with Loren. Where is Maria?’

  ‘Still with us.’ He glanced at the girls. Josie was trying to write in wax crayon on Maria’s hand and Maria was snatching her pudgy little digits away and giggling. ‘Tickles, Yozee! Tickles!’

  ‘Still? Her mother can’t have her?’ demanded Carina, sounding troubled.

  ‘Should be this week,’ he said. He was speaking in Swedish but somehow he didn’t want to invite discussion of Maria going back to Loren in the noisy, public environs of McDonald’s. He switched to English. ‘Josie can’t wait to bake with you next week.’

  ‘Saffron buns,’ Josie said, glancing up with a grin that showed the gaps where her grown-up teeth met her remaining baby ones. The last of her summer freckles spangled her nose and Nico’s heart contracted with love.

  ‘Saffransbullar,’ he promised. ‘Do you want to talk to Farmor?’ He took over entertaining Maria by drawing around her hand with a crayon while Josie excitedly told Carina about their new bedroom and the purple satin curtains they’d bought from Dunelm at the weekend. ‘Dad chose the kind with eyelets so he could just stick the curtain pole through them because he said he doesn’t like all that pratting around with hooks.’

  Once the call was over he took the girls home and spent the evening being a dad, watching Josie on TTRockstars, the online times-table resource Barrack Road didn’t seem to have cut her off from yet, and playing counting games with Maria. One and two remained her favourite numbers. After a dinner of steamed chicken and vegetables – Nico couldn’t help compensating for the burgers a little bit by preparing the healthiest meal he knew – Josie sighed, ‘I wonder what Tilly’s doing?’

  Nico gave her a hug. ‘Maybe she’d like to FaceTime. Why don’t you message her and ask?’

  ‘Yeah!’ cried Josie. It transpired that Tilly was missing Josie so they were soon chatting, Josie carrying the tablet around to show Tilly the house and Maria trying to touch Tilly’s on-screen image and breathing in astonishment, ‘It Tilly! Look!’ Then Josie FaceTimed Emelie and Maria got excited, trying to force her head in front of Josie’s and shouting, ‘Em’lie! Em’lie!’

  When the girls had finally snuggled down in bed, Josie with a book and Maria with a toy unicorn, Nico went downstairs. The earlier conversations with his parents had made him conscious of the passing of time. He needed to gently remind Vivvi that soon he was going home to Sweden. This time, it wouldn’t be for meetings in glass offices in Stockholm but a week with his family in Småland, the province of southern Sweden where he’d grown up. He could almost see the forests, fields and lakes.

  Vivvi answered neither mobile nor landline. He tried Loren, with no better success, so texted Vivvi. Can we arrange a time to talk, please? Need to touch base about Maria. I go to Sweden one week today.

  To Loren he sent: Can we arrange to FaceTime? The girls would like it. Maybe tomorrow? He added, Hope you’re feeling better. He sent the message with a tug of sadness that, actually, neither girl had asked about Loren in the past few days. If they missed anyone it was Tilly and Emelie but most of the time they seemed content with just him.

  Sunday morning arrived with a thick hoar frost that clothed every twig in a white fur jacket. Nico was coaxing Maria to walk to the village shop without stopping every time she saw a Christmas tree when he heard his name and, glancing along to Rotten Row, saw Rob and Leesa jumping from their car, bundled up in coats and scarves.

  ‘You look unnaturally tanned for an English December,’ he called as they hurried up to greet him and the girls. He felt envious. Since splitting up from Loren his summer travel had been restricted to taking Josie to Sweden … much like his winter travel.

  ‘Honeymoon sunshine.’ Rob beamed, slinging his arm around Leesa so enthusiastically that he nearly swept her feet from the icy pavement. ‘What are you doing in Middledip? We’ve come to take Nan and Hannah to lunch. Nan’s broken her arm and Hannah—’

  Nico was already nodding. ‘Hannah’s come home to look after her. Our paths have already crossed.’ He went on to explain his move to the village, while Josie talked to Leesa about her boots and Maria tried to spin her reins out of Nico’s grasp.

  Rob raised his eyebrows and whistled. ‘So you’ve downshifted? It sounds fantastic. I’m dreading going back to the nine to five tomorrow. Nobody ever watches my projects while I’m away.’ Rob worked for a company producing thermostats and heating systems.

  ‘Same,’ groaned Leesa, breaking off from boot talk with Josie. Nico was hazy about her career but thought it might involve the planning department.

  ‘Come with us for lunch at the pub,’ Rob urged Nico. ‘We hardly had five minutes to chat at the wedding.’

  ‘Awesome! The pub!’ cried Josie, before Nico could reply.

  Maria threw her arms up and echoed, ‘Awesome! The plub!’

  Leesa laughed and stroked the girls’ heads. ‘Looks like your kids are in favour.’

  ‘But they’re your family,’ Nico protested. ‘We didn’t dress for—’

  Rob brushed his objections away. ‘You’re a family friend and jeans are fine for a village pub. How about we meet there?’

  With Josie and Maria shouting, ‘Yeah!’ Nico laughed and accepted. He liked Rob, Leesa and Nan Heather. And he liked Hannah … even if she had a boyfriend. He wondered whether she hoped to get back to Sweden to spend Christmas with him.

  After visiting the shop, Nico and his princess with her magic pet unicorn made their way up Main Road to the swings outside the village hall so some energy could be expended prior to lunch. After fifteen minutes, they made their way to the pub.

  Josie bounced in ahead of him. ‘Look at the lights! Look at the tree! There’s Nan Heather!’ She pointed into the dining area where the Goodbody party had already claimed a table beneath a holly wreath.

  By the time Nico got there, Josie was sitting next to Nan Heather excitedly displaying her Pokémon comic from the village shop. Nan Heather looked small and bowed, not much larger than Josie, but her smile was undimmed.

  ‘Hi, everyone.’ Nico tried to extricate an energetically wriggling Maria from her coat while she yelled, ‘Down, Mydad!’ Someone had readied a high chair for her and Nico slotted her into it then fished in his pocket for her favourite small toy of the moment – a plastic cupcake that whizzed around on the spot when w
ound up. ‘Har, har, har,’ Maria chortled, trying to grab it and allowing herself to be strapped in. Nico pulled off his coat and took the last empty seat, which was between the high chair and … Hannah. Her long hair was plaited and swung over her left shoulder as she turned to smile.

  Leesa, on the other side of Maria, cooed, ‘Ooh, have you got a cake, Maria?’

  ‘Cubcake,’ Maria confirmed, generously letting Leesa take a look at her toy.

  Rob sent Nico a wink. ‘She’s practising for when we have babies.’

  Leesa blushed furiously and gave Rob a playful thump so Nico thought a family was probably in their future. A lovely couple, they’d make great parents. With Maria playing with the cupcake and Leesa and Josie chattering a mile a minute to Nan Heather, Nico was able to take a breath.

  ‘How’s the temporary job going?’ he asked Hannah.

  Her eyes shone. ‘Good. Very engaging. Nan’s grumbling about my phone “burping” with messages and emails, as she puts it. Your spreadsheets have been fantastic. I’ve got everything input onto them and I’m at the right place on the timeline. The premises should be sorted by midweek and I can concentrate on creating the most Christmassy Christmas Opening ever. If you hear of anyone selling a tonne of baubles and tinsel, let me know.’

  ‘I will.’ Nico copied her joking tone but was finding the way her plait dangled against her breast distracting. In the crisp winter sunlight streaming through the window her hair was a hundred shades of gingery brown and her eyes bright enough to rival the Christmas lights twinkling along the beams above.

  A member of bar staff appeared with crackers for Josie and Maria, small cardboard ones that barely made a noise when pulled but opened to reveal tubes of jelly beans. ‘Yelly!’ bellowed Maria, holding the clear tube out to Nico. ‘Open yelly.’

  ‘Please,’ Nico added automatically, taking the tube.

  ‘P’ease, tank you,’ Maria added co-operatively, keeping her eyes on the prize.

  Nico and Hannah both laughed. Then Nico noticed Rob watching them with a strange expression and his heart nosedived as he remembered Rob warning him off his sister.

  Crap.

  Hannah’s shop might have gone down the pan but the rest of her life was back in Sweden. With her boyfriend.

  Lunch arrived after a while. Nico cut up Maria’s food and discouraged her from consigning cabbage to the floor. Conversation swirled around him and he mainly listened.

  When the plates had been cleared away, Maria clamoured to be set free. She climbed onto Hannah’s lap and curled up, eyes half-closing. ‘She’s going to go to sleep,’ Nico warned her, recognising the way Maria was snuggling into her neck. ‘Would you like me to take her?’

  Colour touched Hannah’s cheeks. She said softly, ‘I don’t think a child’s ever fallen asleep in my arms. It’s sweet.’

  He smiled. ‘It is. But she’ll give you pins and needles and stop you getting up.’

  Hannah smiled back. ‘I’ll chance it.’ They made a pretty picture as Maria yawned and tumbled into toddler sleep.

  Rob looked about. ‘The dining room staff have disappeared. I’ll go to the bar for more drinks. Come help carry, Nico?’

  ‘Sure.’ Nico felt free to go with him as his charges seemed happy with their company. They waited their turn at the polished bar edged with glittering silver tinsel, Rob propping one foot on the brass foot rail. He winked. ‘So, I didn’t need your help after all.’

  Nico mirrored his stance, so they were facing one another. ‘Didn’t you? With what?’

  ‘Getting rid of Albin. Hannah managed it by herself. That guy was never right for her, looking down his nose at the rest of us.’

  Nico’s heart paused … then restarted with a thump. ‘Hannah’s not with Albin?’

  His friend’s smile was wide and satisfied. ‘Nope. It’s over. She emailed while we were on honeymoon. She was going to end things when she went back after the wedding but he beat her to it. And he’s manoeuvred her out of her own shop as well. Told you he was a prick,’ he added, with a scowl.

  ‘Wow.’ Nico let the news sink in. ‘So that’s why she was able to come and look after your grandmother.’ He remembered how, that night he’d helped with her spreadsheets, she’d begun to say something about Albin. Then Loren had phoned and she’d made a hasty exit instead.

  ‘That’s right.’ Rob broke off to give his drinks order to the barista, who looked to be about twenty, hair in two French plaits. He went on. ‘When I saw you two smooching at the wedding I suspected she wasn’t feeling everything for Albin she should have been. Bloody glad.’

  Nico winced. ‘You reminded me about not going after a teammate’s sister but you also wanted me to know she had a boyfriend.’ Was he meant to apologise?

  Rob received a pint of beer from the barista and sucked off the froth, eyebrows flipping up. ‘Remind you? I was trying to tell you not to worry about that old crap! I’d have loved you to get Hannah away from Albin. But Albin’s history anyway, so no prob.’

  What?

  Mind spinning, Nico carried a tray of drinks through the crowd of drinkers, pausing whenever Rob greeted someone. Their conversation at the wedding had been interrupted but the mention of a boyfriend and the old ‘teammate law’ had made Nico withdraw from Hannah. And yet, immediately after the wedding, her relationship had ended?

  Finally reaching the table through the throng of chattering customers, he distributed the drinks. Hannah, Maria still flaked out on her shoulder, sent him a fleeting smile as she listened to Leesa talk of the unbroken yellow sand of Calangute Beach in Goa.

  The urge to try and get closer to Hannah burst into flame inside him but he forced himself to sit down and think the situation through. He was off to Sweden on Friday. Hannah was wrapped up in Carlysle Courtyard. She’d just come out of a long relationship and he hadn’t discovered how she felt about that. Then there was his single-dad baggage …

  As if that baggage wished to emphasise its presence, his phone began to ring.

  Josie rolled her eyes. ‘At least it can’t be work, Dad.’ It gave him an uncomfortable insight into how used she was to work intruding in their life. He saw Vivvi on the screen and said soothingly, ‘It’s Grandma.’ Presumably she was responding to his calls and texts at long last. ‘Hold on,’ he said into the phone then, glancing round the table, ‘OK to leave the girls for a minute while I take this?’ Reassured by a round of good-natured agreement he moved to an empty table in the far corner.

  ‘Sorry,’ Nico said to Vivvi. ‘Thanks for returning my call. We need to talk about Maria—’

  Vivvi bulldozed over him. ‘Loren’s going into rehab for twenty-eight days.’

  ‘Rehab?’ Nico repeated stupidly. ‘Rehab’ was a word he associated with celebrities.

  ‘She’s been assessed and they’ve offered her a place on their drug addiction programme,’ Vivvi ploughed on. She sounded weighed down with exhaustion. Something rustled and Nico imagined her reading from a piece of paper. ‘Residential withdrawal detoxification then individual and group addiction therapy. She’s been diagnosed with depression and addiction. Red’s terribly down too, after his op, and not trying to help himself.’ Vivvi’s voice caught on a sob. ‘I’m so worried. It feels like they’re giving up and leaving me to deal with everything.’

  Nico struggled for how to react. ‘I’m sorry to hear it,’ he said eventually but it echoed inadequately in his ears.

  Vivvi sniffed. ‘I’m at my wits’ end. Loren’s impossible. She’s got no interest in herself, let alone what her dad and I are going through.’ She blew her nose.

  Nico closed his eyes, realising what was coming next. He could hear it before his ex-mother-in-law said the words. ‘I’m afraid there’s no way we can look after Maria at the moment.’

  He let out his breath so slowly it made his head spin. ‘You’re assuming I’ll keep her?’

  Vivvi gave a strangled, angry laugh. ‘In the circs. If it’s not too much trouble.’

  A silence
elapsed while Nico wondered quite where Vivvi got off with that bit of snark. But he didn’t have time for hurt feelings. Nico had exactly the same decision to make as he’d made twice already. He could continue to look after Maria or ring Gloria Russell to try and get social services to arrange something.

  He tried to imagine himself handing Maria over to some nameless, faceless authority and her wrinkling her nose as she quavered. ‘Bye, Mydad!’

  ‘I know we didn’t quite get round to sending the child maintenance payments,’ Vivvi said suddenly, perhaps realising that she could have sweetened her approach. ‘But everything’s so shitty we forgot. If it makes a difference, I’ll do it now.’

  ‘It’s not my central concern.’ He groaned, then sighed and collected himself. ‘Josie and I are booked to fly to Sweden in five days. Cancelling and disappointing everyone’s not an option so Loren’s going to have to authorise me taking Maria.’

  ‘Oh, Nico. You’re a good man.’ Vivvi was almost gushing now.

  ‘So people keep telling me.’ He let that sink in then said, ‘I’ll have to call you later because there’s a lot to sort out and I’m not at home. I’ve never taken anyone else’s kid on a trip before and don’t know how it works.’

  ‘Of course, of course.’ Vivvi was all compliance now.

  Nico shoved his phone back in his pocket and returned to the Goodbody table to stew silently, his pleasure in the gathering ruined. And Hannah? Vivvi’s phone call had proved that he’d been right to hesitate. His baggage just grew by the day.

  It was several hours later that he sat down at his new kitchen table with his laptop open and Vivvi on the phone. By the end of the session – interrupted three times by the girls – he’d discovered from the Home Office website how to travel with a child who didn’t belong to him. He’d forwarded the template letter of parental permission and all Loren would have to do was fill in dates, destination, reason for the trip, Nico’s relationship to Maria via Josie and sign it. Vivvi pledged to courier it to Nico along with Maria’s passport. Nico emailed Gloria Russell, Maria’s case worker, to apprise her too.